All That Glitters

A Story From The Other Side Of The Tree
"and after he had fought with death and lived through it, and faced utter destruction and hopelessness, and fell with his face in the dirt time and time and time again...
he refused to stay there. he refused to let something or someone else win.
...he still yet had the strength to get up each time, and still had the strength to continue pushing and fighting and wanting, and still had the strength to live...
...he learned then that whatever he wants he just has to fight for, and that eventually, if he wants it badly enough, he will get it. because strength is vital. and nothing is stronger than desire and passion and raw courage and determination...and, in the same way, nothing is weaker or more repulsive then one who is never willing to risk anything - when risk is the only thing holding back. all. there is no honor and there is no strength in one who will not put it all on the line, will not risk everything, for something that is worth even more.
she is up high, watching the entire world.
her heart. it wants to be free.
but she won't be won just by anyone, and she won't belong to just anyone. only the strongest and most courageous and the one who wants it the most and fights for it the most. because then she will know it is true. then she will know it is safe to give. because her heart is the only precious part of her that is only hers to give, and so she will not just hand it to anyone. she would rather live a life completely alone and isolated, then put her heart in a place that was not safe...
On the battle field, only the strongest survive.
And so she sits in her castle, adorned in flowing fabrics that glitter and shine snowblindness as sunbeams catch it, wearing her crown of rubies...and diamonds are strung along her ivory collerbone and drape lower and lower, enveloping her and cradling her...and she watches them all, the knights below, bringing gifts and sacrifices and offereing promises and calling her sweet names...
...and she listens, yes she listens, to all of them and is moved by all of them. but she gives her heart to none of them. because her heart belongs to that one in the field...fighting and slaying and proving himself...not just to her, but proving to himself as well...
It belongs to him. and she sits there quietly, knowing that soon enough he will come for her, and he will sweep her into his valor and his passion and a huge, huge, huge, never-ending adventure. Adventure, adventure, adventure. she craves it more than anything.
she would trade every last one of her rubies and diamonds and jewels for adventure in a second... and for life. her heart belongs to him, because he will bring her to life again."

Chatty Cathy and Patch Adams

it hit me today how soon Courtney's wedding is!!! so crazy, yet so amazing, i can't even believe. My best friend of so long getting married! Naturally, that lead to alot of reminiscing today. As i often do...as WE often do. i'll just let some pictures speak for themselves. oh, good times...

Whispered

whispers into the night air

grasping faltingly at nothing to find some strength
when strength is gone
but found none there either

consuming
thin whimsical thoughts floating in circles
airily and with strain

suffocation
under the bell jar
closing, caught, trapped

another whisper
inaudible
a savior if heard
it is stony silence though

lifeless
falls to the ground

i Am in Love with the Rocky Mountains!!

DAN, TITUS and STEPH'S Snowboarding Roadtrip 2006:

...tons of driving...tons of mountains...tons of snowboarding...tons of visiting...one crazy amazing adrenaline-filled trip!! (worth all dollars and minutes and energy spent!)

Passing

and at least if i am dying
let me be dying in your arms
because although death is what must happen
maybe it can be lightened just a little
if i am melted into your hold
and as light is slowly suffocated out
of my living day, fading a paler and paler yellow
into grey-blue haziness, and then eventually
an ebony faded dust
let me feel your your ever embrace
let me leave this world with
my hand fitted perfectly in yours



"blank. stare. disbelieving...
...but it is all inside, all inside
something this precious could never be"

Of Rain On Glassy Windows

Rain slowly crawling down glass
That furnishes this house
This house that is not a home
Not a home, not a home
Just walls and windows and doors
That lead into empty rooms
Empty maybe because no one wanted them filled
Or no one noticed they were not
Since this house is not a home
Not a home, not a home
Drops of water secreting over smooth, reflective sheets
Like legs in a glass of potent ruby red wine
In this, on this, outside this, house
That is not a home, not a home

Love, Love, Love

CONGRADULATIONS RENEE REINDERS AND WILSON MATTINGLY!!

"The greatest thing you'll ever know, is just to love...and to be loved in return..."

This post is to congradulate an inspiring and beautiful lady, my friend and sister, my roomate of two years - Renee Reinders - on her recent engagement to an equally wonderful man - Wilson Mattingly.

i am incredibly happy for the both of you! You bring so much to each others lives, and also to the lives of everyone else around you. i know anyone who knows either Renee or Wilson, or both of them, will fully agree with this.

....oh. hmmm...i am sensing there might be a little conflict now about all those plans i had "for the three of us." hmmm....about that....