Under the Sparkling Tree on Christmas Eve

are the stars brightly shining this year?
i am not sure.
they are brighter than before
but not as much as i thought they would have been by now.
i started to put it all away
but realized that i shouldn't, or at least that i really can't bear to.
i can't believe i have lay under the sparkling christmas tree
now in a pentagon.
i was thinking new each time, but never without missing.
never, never without missing.
it's been a long day coming
but i no longer want anything to help it pass.
still, silent, magical, sparkling Christmas Eve and Christmas tree
the atmosphere is perfect enough
but incomplete. always incomplete.
Oh Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining
usually they are not through my eyes.
this year i can't bring myself to check if they are.

i miss you
i love you
my angel