The Circle In The Grey

all the rediculous melodrama of an opera, but this is no stage. this is real.

January 23, 2006

Cherry Trees

painted streets and windowed lawns
and cherry trees with salmon feathered petals
and the wind that swirls it all together
i look out over all of it
watching and looking and waiting and not feeling
not out of a lack of feeling, but out of a lack of knowing what to do with those feelings
maybe the liquor bottles help in that process
empty and glassy and spilled on an already stained apartment floor
but my lips never touched it
it was the tragic romantic thing to do
but right then i wasn't that person
why create a heartache scene
when i was never actually able to feel the love
and we'll always hang on to our broken hearts
it's a waste of beauty if i've ever known that
but baby for now do what you have to do
because you know that soon you will let this go
and then baby you will miss this
baby how you will miss this

January 21, 2006

Can't Let You Have That

fly away to everywhere
reach and reach and reach
hear the sky! it's calling you
angel pick up your wings

except when it came to you
you never sang that tune to me
that which i valued the most
was what you hated most about me
you are the only one who always tells me
to stop trying to fly higher
to settle down, to stay on the ground, to be like the rest

and of all the unbelievable that i am faced with
it rips me up the most to know this is what you want for me

when normalcy is one of the worst things to me!
but of course you wouldn't know that
you don't know anything about me
all along you only wanted to know me
as what you created me to be in your mind
not for the one i really am

i try soaring, higher, higher...
those chains you put on me weigh me down
chains that always sing to me
plummet down, down, down
and now you're back where you belong

but i don't belong there
i hear a different song than yours
and it tells me that i don't belong there
and no matter how loud you sing you can never drown this one out

and of all the unbelievable that i am faced with
it rips me up the most to know this is what you want for me


January 20, 2006

Telling

the walls around my world again
they want me boxed up and folded and put away
neatly in place, like all the rest
brainwashed and walking in the same line
the same tired line, that is walked everyday

and i always wanted when anyone told my story
that it would never take place in that same line
and i always wanted when anyone told my story
that i would be more, though i don't know what

if all it takes is dreaming
then dreams are all i am
and if all it takes is wings
then i have those too

so baby fly away with me
baby fly away with me

January 15, 2006

Stop This World

questions, emotions, confusion, not knowing
always looking always looking, but there is nothing more

i want all of it, and then i want none of it

too many feelings, but they can all be missed
none of it really needs to be taken

no more words

falling, hiding, crying, ripping
hurting

please stop this world, i want to get off

January 11, 2006

Dirty Brown Puddles

muddy waters flowing over it all
black pavement shiny, blurry now with
dirty wetness
and it stays as it is, and it is going nowhere

maybe seeing beyond an ocean
if this puddle would stream

then make me as still as brown circles

brown circles in the sky
i wait, i wait
but it is all in vain, it is always in vain
and in dreams, dreams that scatter

the very little i hold
to claim as mine
dirty puddles that they all think are washing the ground
but i know different

i was always one to see what no one else saw

January 05, 2006

You Come To Realize

Not everything is as it seems. In fact, very little ever is.