In Darkness Tries To Hide

in darkness she tries to hide
but he will not let her
she covers her face; ashamed, afraid
she just wants him to leave
because if he was gone she would know
she was right
that she is ugly and fat and dispicable
that she could never be loved
that there is nothing about her
for him to love

and so she pulls the blackness around her
and loses herself in the ebony hole
to protect herself from his eyes
and waits silently, willing him to leave her
alone, alone, so alone, just let her be alone
even as tears choke her
and she would give anything for it to not have to be like this,
but so badly wants darkness to swallow her
so that she doesn't have to face any of it anymore

but there is still something there
she looks up, ready to scream and rip because
she's not being allowed the isolation she desperately wants
he's not gone, he keeps waiting
and won't leave her alone,
only lets her pretend she is
and tears stream down his face too now
because he never wanted it to be like this
and she won't see that

she refuses, even as he shows
that he is there, that he loves, he cares
he wants to give something more than the shadows
just as she is

but she prefers the blackness
and darkness is the only thing she trusts